Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Randomize
