The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
