remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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