who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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