Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
