I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
