a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
