you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you will always have a special place in my vag
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
