i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
