sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
