; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
