So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
