So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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