He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
please don't ironically join a cult
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