remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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