Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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