I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
