It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
