I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize