I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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