so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
