Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
