Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Randomize
