Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
