Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
