Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
smell my finger.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
whose ass print is on the piano?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Randomize
