piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
