I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
