He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
