What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
