I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
