I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
