yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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