Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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