FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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