Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
