fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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