google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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