I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
