People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
