Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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