sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
