I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I forgot how hot balto sounded
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize