Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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