Having a random hookup so left but love u
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
