He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Randomize
