YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
