they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
