So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
