i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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