It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize