windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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