But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
