if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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