Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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