Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
