yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
