Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
