no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
