Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
