He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize