I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
