Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Are my feet made of real feet?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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