You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize