This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
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