After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
